Burning Love

9:34 p.m. — A caller on Sparrow Lane said neighbors were burning something in their fireplace that smelled strong.

“Okay okay, just quit talking about him. You never liked him anyway,” I said, cutting her short. If she stopped talking, I’d be able to stop listening, and that would cancel out the truth of her words. Right? Wrong.

After crying big messy tears, giving myself a snotty clogged nose, hideously swollen eyes, and a sore throat, (on the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me: red blotchy skin, big messy tears, two swollen eyes, and a ragged and scratchy soar throat), Shelly helped me come up with a really good reason why he was acting that way: Because he was a total jerk.

I tried to tell myself that I’d feel better when it stopped hurting, so why not enjoy the pain while it lasted? I wanted to skip all that and go with the “what would have happened with Ben had I lost twenty pounds/went brunette/wore a Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy Lace Extreme Balconet Bra” because maybe it wasn’t over. Why bother working myself up into a legitimate broken heart when I was secretly waiting for Ben to come to his senses and miss me?

But after three weeks, I knew he was just not that into me, so I burned everything related to him. That stupid stuffed dog, (the fake Beenie Baby one) got chucked into the fireplace. Then I ripped up all the cards and sprinkled them over the flames. I put that pair of underwear- the ones I wore that first time- in there but they didn’t burn very good. The single red rose, (the one I thought was so romantic but I now see as Ben being cheap) crackled. The pillowcase didn’t catch though.

I wished I could burn all the lies he told me: I’m getting a divorce.  I love you, I need you, I can’t live without you. This has never happened before. Must’ve been a wrong number. She’s just a friend! I’ll call you–soon. You’ll find someone better.

 

Uninvited Guest –

9:06 p.m.— A caller said a band was playing too loud at a home on Sparrow Lane and Hantley and “the band is not very good.”
I don’t care if they didn’t invite me. I don’t! It would be boring, and stupid party, and totally not even worth my time. But they should have given me the chance to turn them down. Stuck up! They were all so stuck up!